Question about Income
I have a question: should or should a woman who is working pay full/ half for the mortgage as well? The reason this came to mind is a year long discussion I have with my husband. Him been really Persian about this topic says:" A woman should not pay for the family. The money she earns is absolutely for herself and the luxuries she wants to afford." well, before you applaud and say: ' What a great guy!' listen first to the rest of his theory: Luxuries are everything!!! Basically if you want to have a car, he would pay for a cookie jar, you would need to pay the rest.
If you want a desk for your room, he would pay for a board and some wooden sticks for underneath, but if you want one from Pottery Barn or Hold Everything, this would be luxury, I could go on and on. To make it short, his definition of luxury items is different than mine.
Having been raised in Germany, I am very liberal about the topic of working women. I think it's absolutely fine if a woman has a career and also pays the mortgage and every cent the whole family ears comes into a pot and it's the families money.
I think middle eastern men like to have complete control over the finances, this is why they don't like to mix up the money into one pot. Also what if the woman has a higher income? I don't think that there are too many Persian men who would appreciate this. If they don't mix up the incomes, the wife could never say that she put more into the money pot.
regardless the fact that my husband grew up in the west, I think it's the middle eastern pride, which makes their men want to be the first " bread winner" of the family.
From my own experience I could say it has bad and good aspects. I guess it comes back to the point to differentiate what is more important to every woman: financial freedom, or financial security. In my case I like to have both.
posted by Women's Rights here and there @ 12:30 PM
3 Comments:
in the west it's customary for couples to pool their income and share expenses. to me that's asking for trouble. if everyone knew their obligations and kept their acocunts separate, there's less room for misunderstanding.
that might sound parochial, but it has its benefits.
as for men paying the essential household expenses, that has been the norm for centuries and has worked well for many families. if not broken, why fix it. luxuries are items that should be purchased with disposable income.
it's an old-fashioned notion, but a wife's income is hers to keep. if she decides to help in the time of need, it goes to strengthen the bonds and she should be appreciated for that.
To Shekaiba:
Regarding the comment that I call Vahid Persian, and myself raised in Germany. As much as I am 100 % persian blood, I honeslty don't fell 100 % persain. That does not mean that I don't love the country. I told you once before that I would want to be buried in ran so that my body becomes that countries dust again. But... Mentally I feel german. I never really lived in Iran and those couple of years did, I was in a german school, had 70% german friends and always spent the summers and all te other vacations in Germany. Calling myself a persian girl would not be right in my eyes.
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